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Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick Are Banging

Danica Patrick, a Chicago Bears fan, confirmed Monday she is dating the Green Bay Packers quarterback.

”Yes, Aaron and I are dating,” Patrick told The Associated Press.

She told the AP the two first met at the 2012 ESPY Awards and that despite her allegiance to the Bears, ”I told him a long time ago I’d always root for him as a player.

”Now I am probably going to cheer for the whole team,” she added. ”Take out the word `probably.’ Now I’m going to cheer for the whole team.”



Ayyy, shout out to Danica Patrick for sinking her dirty driver’s claws into the best quarterback in the NFL. Aaron Rodgers is at a crossroads in his career. Suffering a pretty serious collarbone injury this year, 2018 is pivotal for Aaron. I can’t continue to say that Rodgers is the best quarterback in the NFL when the Packers are an automatic loss every time they step into the postseason.

But from Rodgers’s perspective, uh, what’s your plan here, buddy? Is Aaron Rodgers only now catching up on 2009 Godaddy commercials? I don’t want to sit here and say that Danica Patrick looks like Fiona from Shrek but she looks like Fiona from Shrek. She looks like a Nascar driver. Which is good for her professionally but romantically, she’s no Olivia Munn.

I’m shocked that Aaron Rodgers even answered Danica’s text. My man doesn’t even reach out to his own family but he’s going home with that drunk middle-aged woman at the bar in all leather alone on the dance floor reallyyy enjoying the Led Zeppelin cover band.

Maybe Rodgers is the type of cat who needs a lady in his life to be successful. Kanye West makes his best music when he’s getting a finger in his bum. Aaron Rodgers might win the MVP award because he’s banging the local mechanic.






Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Danica Patrick is a top. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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