We’re still waiting for Jadeveon Clowney and Jameis Winston to sign contracts but for the most part, it seems as though NFL free agency has come to an end as teams prepare for the weirdest draft in NFL history as no one can actually bring in players to interview them in fear of catching a plague that will either kill them or all of their loved ones. What a time to be alive. For now.
ANYWAY, every year the bad GMs throw hail mary’s and sign players to contracts they do not deserve and this year was no different.
Here are the 7 worst moves of the 2020 NFL offseason:
1. New York Giants Franchise Tagging Leonard Williams
Giants GM, Dave Gettleman, made an incredibly dumb trade at the deadline last season to give away draft picks in order to acquire Jets DL Leonard Williams, who joined the team with zero sacks and proceeded to end the season with zero sacks.
He then doubled-down and franchise tagged the bum. I, too, suck at my job so I feel you.
2. Chicago Bears trading for Nick Foles
Nick Foles makes $21 million and he’s not even the guaranteed starter. Foles has done nothing in his career to prove that he can start 16 games successfully. He had ONE historic playoff run. So did Joe Flacco. Go sign Flacco for a penny and he’d still be a better option than Mitch Trubisky. You wouldn’t have to give up any draft picks and kill your salary cap.
3. Miami Dolphins signing Ereck Flowers
The Miami Dolphins appear to be tanking again after signing former New York Giants first round bust, Ereck Flowers, to a 3-year $30 million deal which is the ultimate ‘spending money because you have money’ contract ever. Flowers probably cut Eli Manning’s career short making him look like trash by giving him 0.1 seconds to throw as he stayed in a three-point stance while defensive linemen blew past him. Tua Tagovailoa is fucked.
4. Detroit Lions sign Jaime Collins
I am not going to make the very derivative joke about the Detroit Lions signing all of the New England Patriots former players because I don’t have. The Lions are already a joke and at this point they are reaching ‘The Aristocrats’ level of free form comedy in which you can just start a sentence ‘you won’t believe what the Detroit Lions did’ and everything you say after that will have your audience on the floor laughing.
5. Chicago Bears sign Jimmy Graham
Wow, I hate everything the Bears did this season. Jimmy Graham didn’t do shit with Aaron Rodgers tossing him the rock and the Bears saw that twice and thought ‘get this man a bag ASAP’. 2-year $16 million for the shell of Jimmy Graham. Foles to Graham. Just pencil Chicago in for the No. 1 draft pick.
6. Houston Texans trading away DeAndre Hopkins
Remember the time Bill O’Brien became the GM of a team that he isn’t even good enough to be the head coach of and then decided to trade away the best player on that team because he didn’t like him bringing his baby mama’s around and not only did he trade that star for wildly petty reasons but all he got back was a more expensive third-string running back, some second day draft picks and the momentary thrill of getting a phone call from another team’s GM.
7. No one signing Cam Newton
Why the fuck is Cam Newton a free agent right now? The only excuse I will give NFL GMs is that the country is shut down and teams can’t bring Cam Newton in for a physical but if a team really wanted the former MVP than they could figure it out. On what planet is Garnder Minshew better than Cam Newton? Really? We’re doing Tyrod Taylor again huh? Okay.