Sooo every critic on planet Earth collectively hated Suicide Squad. I will be honest, it wasn’t great. HOT TAKE ALERT. I’m not going to sit here and say it was the most disappointing movie ever because I had extremely low expectations going into it. These are essentially C level DC comic book characters so this wasn’t nearly as heartbreaking as watching Superman and Batman hug when they realized they both have moms but still.
I feel bad shitting on this movie because everyone else is butttt this whole ‘7 things that bother me’ is kind of me schtick so I’m obligated to. Pageviews over everything.
There are so many things that bother me about this movie so I couldn’t contain it to just 7. Here are a few quick honorable mentions I’ll run throw before the main course starts:
- Zero jokes in this movie landed
- Why was Deadshot’s dream to kill Batman? Shouldn’t it have been to see his daughter?
- Why was Harley’s dream to be with regular ass Jared Leto? She fell in love with the psychopath Joker not some normal guy.
- Who the fuck is Slipknot?
- The government would never agree to unleash ‘Task Force X’. Like, never.
- Why did Amanda Waller kill all of those FBI agents? I mean, that has to be mega illegal, right?
But here are the real 7 things that bothered me about Suicide Squad:
1. The Guards
Soo this is a small thing that bothered me and there were certainly bigger problems with this movie but I have to address this. The prison guards in this movie got wayyyy too much screen time. I know more about that one prison guard than I know about Katana.
In a movie that introduces a team of 8 people, why is Griggs, the prison guard, getting so much face time. Also, I know that these villains are mega dangerous but why is EVERY prison guard an abusive dick? Treat people like animals and they behave like animals. Psychology 101. Belle Reve is such a poorly run facility it truly bothers me.