It’s about that time in the MLB season where we know who the true title contenders are and its time for those teams to snatch up the good players who are being wasted on the loser teams.
This list won’t include teams who knew from day one that they’d be trash. Looking at you Baltimore and Miami. Also obviously teams that could sneak into the wild card are safe from hitting the eject button (for now).
But here are the 7 teams that need to hit the eject button on the season and sell at the 2019 trade deadline:
1. Seattle Mariners
Remember when the Seattle Mariners started the season with the best record in Major League Baseball? Yea, neither do I. Seattle is sitting comfortably in last place of the AL West. Surely, this is what Ichiro stayed one more season for.
The Mariners were the first team to really sell as they sent Jay Bruce to the Philadelphia Phillies. Don’t be shocked if Edwin Encarnacion is shipped away before you finish reading this article.
2. San Francisco Giants
The San Francisco Giants start every season with a naive belief that they can compete with the Los Angeles Dodgers and for the last few years they’ve been proven wrong.
Why is Evan Longoria trapped in the middle of this awful lineup? When are they going to set Madison Bumgarner free so he can actually get back to pitching meaningful games with championship implications? Stop it, San Fran.
3. Toronto Blue Jays
Some might argue that Toronto knew they were going to suck this season but if that were the case then they would’ve freed Marcus Stroman from his indentured servitude to the team.
Their young studs have huge star potential someday. Vladdy Jr, Brandon Drury and Cavan Biggio are going to be a PROBLEM in a couple years. As of right now though, they are garbage.
4. Washington Nationals
You really have to respect the Washington Nationals continuing to have the worst bullpen in baseball year in and year out. As someone with major flaws and zero desire to reflect and change, I can relate to this level of denial.
As of right now, Washington is five games below .500 with no signs of turning the corner. Max Scherzer isn’t going anywhere but they’d be thrilled if they could trick a team into taking Brian Dozier from there.
5. New York Mets
Shout out to the Mets for keeping pace with the Nationals and deciding to lose at the same rate. The Mets were swept by the Miami Marlins a few weeks ago and the GM, Brodie Van Wagenen, came out and said that Mickey Callaway is his manager (also started that press conference by saying that Yoenis Cespedes broke his ankles falling off a horse or some shit).
Mickey Callaway is objectively the worst manager in baseball as he seemingly always brings in the wrong pitcher at the wrong time. One time he sacrificed an out because he sent batters up out of order. Sell everyone. Also sell the team.
6. Arizona Diamondbacks
Unfortunately for Arizona, they play in a division where the Los Angeles Dodgers hit nonstop homers, They’re 12 games behind and it’s only June. Thing are going to get worse before they get better.
Zack Greinke makes $32 million a year until 2022. Laugh out loud. He’ll end up being a Houston Astro of course. That’s just how this movie goes.
7. Boston Red Sox
Some would say that Boston can still easily win the Wildcard and blah blah blah fuck Boston. They’re dead. Trade JD Martinez, you cowards. Drop David Price into a volcano. #RIPBoston