Unlike any other sport, championships can truly be won in the NBA offseason. Whether it’s the Miami Heat forming a decade ago or Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors or even Toronto trading the GREAT Jakob Poeltl for Kawhi Leonard.
But the first step is admitting you have a problem. Some teams have to look their roster up and down and down and up and say ‘shit, we stink’. In order to get to the promised land, certain teams need to blow it up and start from scratch.
Here are 7 NBA teams that need to blow it up this summer:
1. Houston Rockets
It begins. The Houston Rockets are already making calls begging teams to take Chris Paul’s elderly $40 million a year ass because the Warriors just sat on their chests with Kevin Durant watching from the sidelines.
BLOW IT UP.
2. Miami Heat
The Dwyane Wade era in Miami is officially over. You could say the Wade era ended in like, 2014 but Miami didn’t recognize it until he finally retired so now they can actually look ahead to the future that they’ve chosen to ignore for half a decade.
Every single player on this team is locked in for at least 2020. Literally no one is coming off the books this summer which means the Heat need to make moves.
They should continue experimenting with Point Justice Winslow and send Goran Dragic to anywhere else. Dion Waiters could be an important sixth man on a playoff team but his minutes are wasted losing in Miami.
3. Detroit Pistons
Stan Van Gundy put together one of the dumbest rosters in the entire league and now gets ESPN direct deposits to go on NBA Countdown and talk about the Detroit Pistons. It’s an evil world we live in.
Watching the Pistons battle the Bucks in the first round of the playoffs physically hurt. You could feeeel Blake Griffin’s bones in agony as he’s limping up and down the court doing everything because SVG selected Luke Kennard over Donovan Mitchell.
The Pistons cannot start the 2019-20 season with both Andre Drummond and Blake Griffin on the team.
4. Oklahoma City Thunder
Russell Westbrook makes $41 million, Paul George makes $34 million and Steven Adams makes $25 million. Damian Lillard waved their asses off the floor in the first round. The season before, Joe Ingles knocked them out round one. If OKC doesn’t make a change then like, Buddy Hield is going to bounce them into the 9th seed.
This team has zero assets outside of maybe Terrence Ferguson. Hamidou Diallo can dunk or whatever but one of those three aforementioned contracts needs to be moved or this team will not be in the playoffs next season. You heard it here first,,,FOLKS.
5. Washington Wizards
I wrote this article last summer and I never reread anything I write, as you can tell from the thousands of typos, but I can say with complete confidence that I said the Wizards should blow it up and honestly, I could have written this every year since Gilbert Arenas was the star and I’d be shouting BLOW IT UP at the top of my lungs.
6. Chicago Bulls
WILDCARD, BITCHES. Yes, this team in the midst of a rebuild needs to blow it all up. Sometimes you gather a bunch of young pieces together and those pieces don’t fit into place at all.
Zach Levine is a shoot-first, shoot-second point guard who plays zero defense letting guys blow past him to Lauri Markkanen who is in no way a rim defender.
7. Portland Trailblazers
You could make the argument that Portland keeping the gang together has been successful for them to this point. By bringing the same team back after getting swept by New Orleans the season prior, the Blazers returned with minimal changes and made it all the way to the Western Conference Finals.
You could also make the counter argument that they are incredibly lucky to have faced OKC and the winner of Denver/San Antonio to make it to the Finals.
There exists not a world where a team with two tiny guards that can’t play defense can win a title. Klay Thompson is a giant compared to Steph and can make up for Steph’s inability to lock anyone up.
Break up Lillard and McCollum. BLOW IT UPPPPP.
- Abolish Unpaid Internships
- Free Frank Ntilikina
- Why Sports People Recover Faster From Injuries
- Rush Limbaugh is Dead As Fuuuuuuuck Lolololololol
- Why Sport Is Good To Incorporate Into Your Lifestyle