This article is being inspired by NBA 2K’s release of its newest covers that include Damian Lillard. This led to a conversation with friends about Dame being one of the coolest NBA players and he certainly makes the list. I may have never heard any of his music but he does have a track with Lil Wayne. Pretty cool.
Some quick close calls:
- I do believe Jimmy Butler is cool. Dogwalking the Minnesota Timberwolves in practice and then immediately calling up Rachel Nichols to talk shit about the team you just dragged is cool as hell. You know what’s not cool? Wearing cowboy boots and hanging with Marky Mark.
- Klay Thompson can’t be described as ‘cool’ as much as chill. Like, I think everyone would feel comfortable around Klay and that’s not necessarily cool. He’s just high as hell and minding his damn business. Nothing cool about loving scaffolding.
- PJ Tucker was going to be on this list but I didn’t want to make a list of a Top 8 because that’s weird and then I would’ve had to add a 9th and this was just supposed to be some quick content to feed the streets. I really don’t want to dissect how cool 9 grown men are.
Here are the 7 coolest NBA players:
7. Kyle Korver
I know Kyle Korver wasn’t dressing and getting his hair braided like Allen Iverson but I just get the feeling those two were always on the same page.
He’s also been quite outspoken about racial issues which is important from white people knowing that, ya know, they’re kind of the ones that are perpetuating all the racism and the onus should not be on black people to convince white people they deserve to live. We need white people like Kyle Korver out here shaming his fellow caucasians.
6. Ja Morant
Ja Morant has all the athletic gifts and highlight abilities of Derrick Rose and Russell Westbrook without all of the baggage, ya know, like freaking out at fans that make eye contact with him and uh, raping women.
Also, guys can we be real? If you read Deadseriousness then I trust that we can be honest with each other. We all know that Ja Morant is cooler than Zion Williamson, right? Quick trivia question: which one went to Duke and was recorded simping for that blonde chick?
Ja is cooler than Zion. Both have phenomenal names though.
5. John Wall/ 4. DeMarcus Cousins
Let’s talk about these two Kentucky Wildcats that came into the league together and had somewhat similar careers that were derailed by injuries in the midst of their primes. Even sitting on the sidelines every game they look cool as hell.
John Wall hitting the game-winning shot and jumping on the scorer’s table is one of the coolest moments of the last five years. Boogie making all of the white NBA writers clutch their pearls and reveal their true colors whenever they discuss him is also cool considering the worst thing he’s ever done is like, be mad at a referee.
Making millions of dollars to sit courtside. Very cool.
3. Kawhi Leonard
We are entering the automatic bucket section of this list. There is nothing cooler than just shooting a contested jumper in some poor defender’s face. Kawhi doesn’t have the ballhandling ability of the players above him on this list but him moving in slow motion and scoring 30 is still cool.
Also trolling the entire NBA and the Los Angeles Lakers specifically in free agency last season was cool as hell. I mean, it was super annoying to see cats like Cris Carter and Chris Broussard lie about having inside info on what Kawhi was doing but that’s not Kawhi’s fault. All he did was win Toronto their first title by becoming the best player in the league. Very cool.
2. Damian Lillard
Hitting a buzzer beater from the logo to knock the Oklahoma City Thunder out of the playoffs and then waving them ‘bye-bye’ as they awkwardly leave the floor is cool as shit. There is nothing cooler than knocking OKC out. Then entered playoff series so confident and were jettison by Joe Ingles the year before and then Dame.
Get Playoff P the fuuuuck out of here.
1. James Harden
This is very simple: does anyone else on this list have their jersey retired at a strip club? No? Then we have nothing further to discuss.