NEW YORK, NEW YORK - APRIL 05: The New York Yankees look on before the game against the Houston Astros during Opening Day at Yankee Stadium on April 5, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)
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50 Things To Expect From the 2016 New York Yankees

The 2016 Major League Baseball season has begun. We are a week into the New York Yankees so I think now is as good as ever to predict what will occur throughout the season. Here are 50 things to expect from the 2016 New York Yankees.

 

 

1. Alex Rodriguez will pass Babe Ruth for 3rd all-time in career home runs.

2. The Yankees won’t acknowledge it at first.

3. They will randomly celebrate 5 weeks laters when they are pressured to do so.

4. Joe Girardi will get ejected from games in hopes to inspire his team.

5. The team will not be inspired.

6. Brian McCann will change his batting stance 6 more times before the all-star break.

7. Mark Teixeira will hit 40 BOMBS.

8. Then Teixeira will suffer a season-ending injury from a foul tip while standing in the on-deck circle.

9. Starlin Castro will lead the team with the highest batting average.

10. Jacoby Ellsbury will not end the season as the starting left fielder.

11. Aaron Hicks will step up and win the starting outfield spot.

12. Brett Gardner will continue to argue with the umpires after striking out swinging.

13. Every single RBI Carlos Beltran hits will be a go-ahead run or game-tying run.

14. The Yankees will sign a 6th starter that is 30+ years old.

15. That pitcher will save the season.

16. Shades of Brandon McCarthy/Chris Capuano/Freddy Garcia

17. I think Sergio Mitre is still available.

18. Every 9th inning clutch situation will come down to Chase Headley with 1 out and a runner on first base.

19. Headley will ground into a double play.

20. Aroldis Chapman will miss half of the season and still lead the league in saves.

21. Nick Swisher will climb his way back to the major leagues.

22. He will quickly be designated for assignment after that.

23. Alex Rodriguez will have at least 4 different girlfriends over the course of the season.

24. CC Sabathia will lead the pitching staff in wins.

25. Masahiro Tanaka will lead the team in strikeouts.

26. Tanaka will have a sore arm forever.

27. His arm may literally fall off by the end of this month.

28. Brett Gardner’s hairline will continue to recede to the back of his neck.

29. Didi Gregorius is the youngest player in the batting order.

30. He’s 26-years old.

31. That’s old as shit for a professional athlete.

32. Michael Pineda will give up the longest home run of the season.

33. Also the second and third longest.

34. The point I’m trying to make is that he’s going to give up a lot of home runs.

35. The man lobs beach balls down the middle of the plate.

36. Kirby Yates needs to pitch every single night because he has the best name in baseball.

37. Johnny Barbato has the second best name.

38. Chasen Shreve coming in hot with the worst name in baseball.

39. Bleacher seats will get more expensive every single day.

40. I will be blackout drunk by the 9th inning of every home game, regardless of score.

41. Alex Rodriguez will hit a bajillion home runs by May.

42. Didi Gregorius will have amazing diving catches every night but his throw to first base will never be on time.

43. Did you know Carlos Beltran recently turned 39-years old?

44. CC Sabathia will be swimming in champagne at some point this season.

45. Nathan Eovaldi will be like, fine or whatever.

46. Ivan Nova is still on the team too and he’ll be on the DL tomorrow or something.

47. This article is losing steam fast.

48. The Yankees will have a winning record against the shitty ass Toronto Blue Jays.

49. The New York Yankees are going to win the 2016 World Series.

50. Everything I just said will 1000% come true.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee with your expectations for the 2016 New York Yankees season.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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