There are reports that the Lakers have worked out JR Smith and they’re considering bringing him in to fill in their 15th roster spot but let’s ignore that. He’d barely get on the floor which is the reason why he’s not already on the team.
The NBA needs the Henny God. We all do.
Look at all these assistant head coaches—not covered in soup. It’s time to bring JR back to lay pipe and the Lakers are not the move.
Do you really think LeBron forgot that JR cost him a title when he ran the opposite direction in Game 1 of the 2018 Finals? He’s not signing with the Lakers.
Here are 4 teams that should sign JR Smith:
1. Philadelphia 76ers
If the season were to end today, the Sixers would finish with the 6th seed which is disgusting for a team that has Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons—two players in the Top 15 in the league. Bold move for the Sixers to never put any three-point shooting around Ben Simmons while blaming Ben Simmons for not shooting three’s.
Personally, if I had a generational talent that can get to the basket whenever he wanted, had crazy court vision and could defender opposing teams best scorers—I’d put some fucking shooters around him instead of blaming him for the one skill he lacks.
JR Smith can shoot from the perimeter and create his own shot off the dribble. He’s also more proven in the postseason than Shake Melton and the other G-Leaguers they have out there overperforming.
2. Orlando Magic
The Orlando Magic are going to be the 8th seed and sneak into the playoffs for the second consecutive season and no one gives a shit. Ja Morant or Damian Lillard or Zion Williamson is going to battle the Lakers in the first round of a must-watch series that will inevitably end in a sweep.
Meanwhile, the Magic are going to get murdered by the Milwaukee Bucks and no one will be there to see it because no one is in a hurry to watch Aaron Gordon get dismantled by Giannis in a boring bloodbath.
Sign JR Smith and I’m watching all 4 blowout games. Are we sure the Bucks can stop JR and Markelle Fultz’s randomness on a basketball court?
3. San Antonio Spurs
I have no idea what the San Antonio Spurs plan is and when a team throws the plan away and delve into uncertainty, there is only one agent of chaos they could sign to light everything on fire: JR Smith.
DeMar DeRozan and LaMarcus Aldrige are the kings of the contested midrange jumpers. The Spurs entire offense is centered around taking the worst possible shots every possession. That’s really cute, Popovich, but we all know JR Smith created the idea of taking the worst shot possible so sign the man you’re stealing from.
4. New York Knicks
Fuck it, run it baaaaaack. Neither party is up to any good. JR’s old agent, Leon Rose, is the new president of the team. Let’s bring the band back together. There’s been mad gentrification but I’m sure most of JR’s favorite clubs still have his jersey hanging from the rafters and his special bottle of patron on deck.
Manhattan needs JR Smith to keep this economy going.