It’s hard to become one of the 24 NBA All-Stars. Fans are told by ESPN and Bleacher Report who the stars of this league are by the time they graduate high school so it’s damn near impossible to elevate yourself to that level without being buddies with a Barstool social media manager.
Here are 4 NBA players who should be all-stars but definitely won’t be voted in:
1. Jerami Grant
25.1 ppg, 39.6 3P%, 6.2 RPG
Jerami Grant wanted his own team to lead and he’s uh, actually doing it? Bold move to leave a guaranteed playoff situation in Denver to play alongside Blake Griffin. And now look at Detroit. Blake is the odd man out clearing the floor so that Jerami Grant can iso at the top of the key.
Again, no one outside of Michigan is going to vote Grant in this game but Jerami should absolutely be an All-Star.
2. Gordon Hayward
23.1 PPG, 50.2 FG%, 40.3 3P%, 5.1 RPG, 1.3 SPG
Gordon Hayward has been playing on a different level ever since the Democrats stole the presidential election from his boy Donald. Gordon is out here balling for a cause. Every time you post your little videos of Kamala Harris tap-dancing pretending to be black for Likes, Hayward is scoring 30 on your favorite wing defender.
Gordon Hayward is hooping with the ferocity of a disillusioned real estate agent mom of 3 boring blonde girls who rushed the Capitol to ragdoll Nancy Pelosi around her own office.
3. Christian Wood
23.4 ppg, 52.8 FG%, 36.5 3P%, 10.8 RPG, 1.8 BPG
The most impressive thing about Christian Wood’s breakout season is that it’s happening on a team full of mercenaries all with their own agendas after James Harden dropped a grenade in the locker room and walked away in slow motion like a direct-to-DVD action movie.
Victor Oladipo is in a contract year. Boogie Cousins is ALWAYS in a contract year. John Wall is trying to re-establish his dominance over a league that has completely passed him by. Yet Christian Wood persists.
4. Julius Randle
22.6 PPG, 11.6 RPG, 6.2 APG
KNICKS, BITCH. You thought I wasn’t going to put one of my baby boys on this list?? Personally, I believe all 15 players on the Knicks roster deserve to be All-Stars but I will focus on Julius Randle specifically.
Randle was a joke last year in his first season in New York. He had a predictable spin move that always resulted in an offensive foul. He was a selfish player who only passed it last minute when he ran out of steam and would chuck the ball at his teammate’s feet or out of bounds.
Now the Knicks have the No. 1 defense in the NBA and Julius Randle is leading them to the highly coveted 8th seed in the East. KNICKS BACK, BITCH.