Last season the Houston Rockets got bodied by the Los Angeles Lakers in the bubble. It looked like they didn’t belong on the floor with the champions. James Harden realized he’s never going to win there and demanded a trade.
After gaining no less than 200 pounds in the offseason and giving half the team Covid, Harden finally got his way and the Rockets shot him over to Brooklyn in a huge 4-team blockbuster trade.
Sources: Full current trade:
Rockets: Victor Oladipo, Dante Exum, Rodions Kurucs, 3 BKN first-rounders (22, 24, 26), 1 MIL first (22, unprotected), 4 BKN 1st round swaps (21, 23, 25, 27)
Nets: James Harden
Pacers: Caris LeVert, 2nd-rounder
Cavs: Jarrett Allen, Taurean Prince
— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) January 13, 2021
Here are the 4 biggest winners of the James Harden Brooklyn Nets trade:
1. James Harden
James Harden took a lottttt of unnecessary heat for wanting to leave Houston. I understand that if you’re a perennial MVP candidate that the blame is on your shoulders if your team can’t win a title but it’s so strange to watch the Wizards look like one of the worst teams in the NBA when Russell Westbrook is on the floor yet that was the guy that was supposed to help Houston get over the Lakers.
They hired a new coach without getting his thoughts on it first. They brought in John Wall after two seasons off from basketball. So naturally, Harden skipped preseason and instead opted to eat everything in his line of sight only to return a few dress sizes larger and no desire to be in Houston anymore.
Also, he for sure got dumped by some Houston dancer and wants to leave town immediately.
2. Kyrie Irving
Kyrie Irving clocked out for his lunch break one day and just never came back. No one knows why he left the team but there are rumors that he may sit out the entire season. And now he just got completely let off the hook as Harden comes to town and fills his role entirely. He 1000% texted the Nets group chat “Y’all go win me a chip” before taking his second nap of the day.
3. Spencer Dinwiddie
Speaking of guys who are going to win a championship without actually playing any meaningful minutes: enter Spencer Dinwiddie. No way Dinwiddie would have been kept out of this 4-team blockbuster trade had he not torn his ACL earlier this season. Now he isn’t stuck in Indiana backing up the Holiday brothers.
4. Boogie Cousins
Reports came out today that indicated, let’s call it, DeMarcus Cousin’s dissatisfaction with the way James Harden was treating the Rockets players. Boogie is a winner of this James Harden Brooklyn Nets trade because he was 1000% going to wring Harden’s chubby neck by the end of the month and end up in handcuffs.
And now onto the losers…
1. Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant had the most success in his career in Golden State playing very unselfish basketball. Having to share with Steph Curry and Klay Thompson unlocked a new level of basketball we’ve never seen before.
That being said, something tells me KD didn’t sign with Brooklyn with the hopes of giving up shots again. My man did all that ‘sacrifice’ shit already. Won some titles. Cool. Okay, now it’s time to head to Brooklyn with my best friend Kyrie Irving andddddd nevermind James Harden is here and now I can’t shoot 25 times a night. Oh.
2. Mike D’Antoni
Do you know why Mike D’Antoni is currently the assistant coach of the Brooklyn Nets right now? Because he couldn’t win in Houston with James Harden and now he is once again tasked with trying to win a championship with that thiccc bearded weirdo. Just go ahead and add D’Antoni to the growing unemployment list.
3. Old (white) NBA Media
There is nothing that gets the NBA media more upset than a star player deciding he wants to play in another city before their contract ends. Pure genuine hate of young black men who simply want to live in a different city and/or play with their buddies.
For some reason there is this belief that you must will your way to a title regardless of whether or not the guy on the floor next to you in the 4th quarter is Gerald Green on his 16th 10-day contract just bricking 3’s.
The media then attempts to shield their disdain for these young black men by claiming that fans hate super teams and Houston should be so upset right now even though they just received 40,000 first round draft picks along with a Victor Oladipo/John Wall backcourt poised to take the West when LeBron’s hairline officially disappears.
Ugh, I hate Kawhi for not staying in San Antonio and playing alongside *Googles* Rudy Gay. Ok.
4. Houston strippers
It’s no secret that Harden enjoyed the company of exotic dancers at the local gentleman’s club at 2am following a blowout loss. Jimmy went to the strip club so frequently that they retired his jersey. He’s hanging from the rafters like a Hall of Famer.
If I know John Wall like I think I know John Wall then he’s going to have trouble getting past the metal detectors. So who is going to help get these young ladies through college? Pray Rodion Kurucs doesn’t get his hands on these women.