17 Thoughts After Watching The Trailer For Wes Anderson’s Next Movie ‘The French Dispatch’

  1. This is about to be the most Wes Anderson ass movie that Wes Anderson ever made.
  2. Wes Anderson’s parents caught him making a Wes Anderson movie and punished him by making him smoke an entire pack of Wes Anderson movies.
  3. He’s somehow found a way to make real life look like claymation and vice versa. This is sorcery and blood magic.
  4. Also you know it’s going to be a fire Wes movie when all the characters have dumb ass names for no reason.
  5. I’d like to imagine that Adrien Brody sits on the floor of a dark empty storage pod with just a cell phone by his side with the sound turned all the way up waiting for Wes to give him a ring.
  6. Movies that star every actor ever and tell multiple vignette stories are trash more often than not.
  7. No doubt in my mind this will join those ranks.
  8. No doubt in my mind I’m going to love every second of this trash.
  9. Why is Timothee Chalamee still a thing?
  10. He looks like every rich spoiled white kid that’s ever existed had their DNA extracted and put into a (tool) bag to be combined and synthesized to form the ultimate composite face of privilege.
  11. THAT BEING SAID, man I have a thing for Cecile De France who will probably have the tiniest role ever but I will be glued to my seat.
  12. I just took at 10 minute break scrolling through her photos. Help me.
  13. Wes movies work best when there are a few actors taking things extremely seriously while moronic chaos ensues around them and I think Elizabeth Moss and Jeffrey Wright are perfect for those roles.
  14. Have to thank Wes for introducing me to Saoirse Ronan who is objectively one of the best actors in the game right now even if she lives in Greta Gerwig’s basement chained up to a radiator only to be freed for the sole purpose of smoothing Chalamee like they’re a Barbie and Ken doll getting their plastic heads smashed together.
  15. I’m glad Willem Dafoe is ok.
  16. Do we give this movie Best Set Design now or do we have to wait?
  17. The French Dispatch is going to set records for the most types of different hats worn in a full-length feature film. Art.
Deadseriousness

Written by Deadseriousness

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