17 Thoughts After Watching The Final Joker Trailer

  1. When you are making a Joker movie, there is only one actor you cast: Joaquin Phoenix.
  2. If the Joker were to exist in the real world, Joaquin Phoenix is the most likely human to lose his mind, start wearing clown makeup and bomb NYC.
  3. You know who you don’t cast? Jared fucking Leto.
  4. I, too, would prefer if Joaquin Phoenix’s crazy ass not play with my child on the 1 train.

5. Joaquin is right up there with Christian Bale and Charlize Theron on the list of actors who can physically distort their face and body to look like any on Earth.

6. Jared Leto could never.

7. All of these thoughts might just be about how much greater Joaquin is than Jared Leto at everything.

8. “All I have are negative thoughts”

9. Did I write this movie?

10. As someone who has performed stand up comedy before, the last thing I want is to have my worst set televised on late night TV and mocked by Robert DeNiro.

11. Joker doesn’t seem like a man of many means in this movie. In fact, the film is described as an attack on the 1%. Cool.

12. So uh, how did he fund the creation of all those Joker masks? My man has merch from one late night TV appearance?? Can’t Knock The Hustle.

13. Also, can’t really see how Joker’s life is THAT bad when he’s sleeping with Zazie Beetz.

14. Joker is for sure going to shoot DeNiro in the face, right? There’s no way he gets emasculated by DeNiro in the first act and doesn’t immediately slit his throat when they finally meet in order to go full-Joker.

15. This could end up being the worst movie in the world but there are visible Manhattan subway signs so I’ll be watching it no less than 4,000 times opening weekend.

16. But chances are, this movie is going to be the best movie DC has made thus far and it’s a shame considering this movie takes place before Bruce Wayne is even born. I hope. Oh no, is there going to be a little Batman kid? I hate DC.

17. Fuck Jared Leto.


Subscribe To Join The Exclusive Club Deadseriousness and Stay in the Know

Thank Me Later.

Leave a Reply

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture. Jerk.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

demarcus cousins

There Are Officially Zero Reasons To Root For DeMarcus Cousins Now

top quarterbacks

Top 40 Quarterbacks Heading into the 2019 NFL Season