10 Thoughts About Mike Trout Signing a 12-Year $430 Million Contract

  1. Mike Trout is the highest paid player in all of sports and he has the personality of a pair of socks. He looks like every undercover cop that has tried to ask me if I ‘need any pot’ while his handcuffs were falling out of his pockets. Baseball is dumb sometimes.
  2. Someone texted me asking me if I’d rather have $430 million or a World Series ring. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABAHABAHAHAHAhahahAHBAHABHABAHA. Baseball is dumb sometimes.
  3. Matt Harvey is on the Angels this year and he is 1000% going to ask Trout to borrow money so he can buy some coke. If anything, this contract will bring the team together.
  4. Mike Trout is the best player in baseball and he has 15 career postseason plate appearances. Trout’s career WAR is bigger than Machado and Harper combined which means that WAR doesn’t mean shit. Baseball is dumb sometimes.
  5. Trout got a 12-year $430 million deal. Pujols got a 10-year $240 million deal. Josh Hamilton got a 5-year $125 million deal. The Angels are in last place every year and they’re still just printing out money. Baseball is dumb sometimes.
  6. Bryce Harper must be sick. Trout got one more year and a $100 million more and he didn’t even have to compete in a meaning home run derby.
  7. There are only 4 players in MLB history that have a higher career OPS+ than Trout: Babe Ruth. Ted Williams. Barry Bonds. Lou Gehrig. That is all.
  8. Aaron Judge is going to get a 20-year $4 billion deal and honestly, he’ll still be underpaid.
  9. Once the Phillies, Angels and Padres realize that all of those massive tv contracts they signed a few years ago won’t be lasting long term because no one cares about baseball anymore, they are all 100% calling up the Yankees so enjoy Trout while you can, LA. He’s going to be a Yankee before you know it.
  10. Fuck Mike Trout.



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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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