Before I shit all over this trailer, I want to start off by saying that I’m obviously going to go see this movie. Put aliens in anything and you’ve got me in the theatre. I’m a simple man with simple desires. Aliens and boobs. Looks like this movie is relying more on the former.
This movie looks like a weird Jupiter Ascending sequel and Jupiter Ascending might be one of the worst movies ever. How dare you feed me that garbage, Channing Tatum. I trusted you and you broke my heart.
Shout out to Rihanna for just being in this movie randomly. Also, shout out to whoever decided a few years ago that alien life consists of 80% talking lizard people and 20% humans in blue makeup. This new Valerian and the city of a Thousand Planets reaaally doubles down on talking lizard aliens.
Again, I will be in a theatre to watch this movie and I’m going to leave either wishing I was more responsible with my money or thinking to myself ‘wow, Rihanna is hot’. Can’t wait.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re hyped after watching this new Valerian and the city of a Thousand Planets trailer. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.