The 5 People You’ll See at Your Local Gym
This is usually the first person you see when you walk in or at least you hear him. He’s usually wearing the tiniest t-shirts and is yelling at the top of his lungs whenever he attempts to lift anything. This person would rather have oversized muscles than working testicles, wise choice.
You can’t figure out how a machine works? The Einstein knows. Want to know the perfect diet for gaining weight? The Einstein knows. The problem is, you never actually ask this guy. He usually just appears and tells you things he read in this month’s issue of Men’s Fitness Magazine, you know, that same magazine you just read.
There will always be a small boy at the gym struggling. Much like a baby deer, he has zero coordination and has no idea what he is doing. It is a sad thing to watch as he drops weights on his chest, but for some reason, you never help him.
The world’s oldest man definitely goes to the same gym as you. You can see his entire skeleton through his skin yet he’s still running on the treadmill next to you, complaining about your generation. The only reason you don’t speak to him is because you know he’s one opinion away from death.
No matter what time you go, there will always be one hot girl, wearing basically nothing. You know you can’t look over at her or it’ll end badly. She is the eclipse. Instead of staring directly at her for 50 minutes, you take peeks every 5 minutes through mirrors. I warn everyone, do not stare at the eclipse. Do not.