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Super Hero Flaws

 

Every super hero has their flaws. Some are just more apparent than others. 

Green Lantern

With an all powerful ring, Green Lantern can produce anything he can imagine. And with that power comes the absolute worst weakness of any super hero ever. The color yellow. Yes, simply being exposed to the color yellow takes power away from the Green Lantern. Whenever your powers are diminished by primary colors, you suck. Being portrayed by Ryan Reynolds doesn’t help much.

Captain America

 

Captain America is a World War II hero which is completely fine. But how is he alive in present day, at the same age he was during the 40′s. He was frozen in ice and thawed out decades later? I was under the impression that being frozen alive would kill a man, but not Captain America, I guess. Also, no need for a mask Steve Rogers. No one knows/cares who the fuck you are.

Aquaman

 

Aquaman can talk to fish. That’s a pretty cool trick at a party or whatever but when a super villain takes out a gun, being able to converse with aquatic life seems pointless. If Superman and Aquaman both show up to a bank robbery, it’s safe to say that Aquaman’s role is to just file the police report. Also, I assume this man is just like, always soaking wet. The Hall of Justice must be dripping wet all of the time because of this moist fish man.

The Incredible Hulk

Bruce Banner turned into a terrifying green monster after being exposed to gamma radiation. I’m okay with pretending like that makes any sense. But what I cannot understand is why he only changes when he’s angry. If there is some sort of poison in his system, why is it only triggered when he’s enraged. And I can’t even begin to fathom how his one pair of pants manages to adjust to his transformations.

Iron Man

When you’re looking for flaws in Iron Man you can start with the fact that Tony Stark doesn’t have a heart. You know, that vital organ that pumps blood throughout your body. Yea, Tony Stark doesn’t have that.  It doesn’t matter how much money or technology you have, you need a heart, right?

Daredevil

When chemicals fell into the eyes of young Matt Murdoch, he lost his vision.  That part makes perfect sense. Daredevil is an openly blind super hero. Matt Murdoch is an openly blind, popular lawyer in New York. No one seems to have made that connection I guess. But the biggest flaw, which is probably the easiest to indicate, he’s blind. I’ve met a few blind people and if they were presented with a bank robbery, they wouldn’t even know it.

Spider-Man

 

Why is it that Peter Parker is the only person that can take those exclusive photos of Spider-Man. No one has really questioned why Spider-Man appears to have only one friend, Peter Parker. If I was a super villain, the first thing I’d do is take off the kid’s mask. Spider-Man by far has the most enemies. Why aren’t they even attempting it. My biggest problem is how he travels. He shoots a web directly into the sky and just swings away. But what is his web latching onto, satellites?

Batman

 

Bruce Wayne the billionaire. Batman, the vigilante using ridiculously expensive equipment. If Bruce Wayne goes away for a year, coincidentally, so does Batman. Ultimately, Batman has no super powers. He’s just a dude in a mask fighting super villains and cops that have actual guns. Why has Batman yet to be shot? How is he somehow invulnerable to bullets? He lives in the same universe as Superman. Who is calling a crazy guy without powers for help when there’s an alien the next town over who is invulnerable to I don’t know, everything!

Superman

Superman is physically built like a god and has a perfectly chiseled jawline. Low and behold, Clark Kent happens to have the same exact measurements. To make matters worse, Clark Kent is a reporter, for what appears to be the only news outlet in town, yet he is never around at the same time as Superman. The best part is that Clark Kent doesn’t even try to hide it. Superman doesn’t wear a mask or anything. Clark Kent just puts on glasses and is completely hidden from comparisons. He truly is the greatest super hero.

I swear I know more about comic books than it seems. Follow @TheLesterLee on twitter for more pointless words and meaningless ideas.

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3 replies to this post
  1. 1) Iron Man / Tony Stark has heart; you’ve misunderstood it; to avoid the damage to heart from sharpnels, he is using the external device.
    2) When you are angry, the adrenalin level goes high; which may trigger the green monster. It is logical.
    But your comments about the pants are right.
    3) Yeah. Just a spectacle cannot make one person to appear like another. Superman acting like a normal human in the office, is a joke.

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