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Life Lessons

The grass is always greener on the other side, time to hire new immigrant gardeners.

Blood is thicker than water, so if you want to get those stains from Friday night out, try seltzer.

There is no sense crying over spilt milk, you dumb infant.

Every cloud has a silver lining, just ask the lovely people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki about that mushroom cloud.

Idle hands are the devil’s tools, no worries; he’s just as lazy as you are.

Practice makes perfect, feel free to continue masturbating.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall: The story of Anna Nicole Smith.

When it rains, it pours. It’s also wet and moist and damp and watery.

You are what you eat, you are sandwiches.

All good things come to an end, sorry Betty White.

Song of the Day


Song of the Day: Kool AD - Manny Pacquiao http://youtu.be/ycPbYqLDq4w In honor of Mayweather vs. Pacquaio finally happening on May 2nd, here's...