So, Walter Palmer killed a lion who may or may not have had more Twitter followers than me. It happens. Due to outrageous protests and death threats and Jimmy Kimmel crying on TV, he was forced to take a hiatus from drilling into people’s faces. This week, the world’s most famous dentist returns to his practice, as he should.
Here’s the thing: Sometimes people go hunting and animals die. Human beings are on top of the food chain. I’m okay with that. The second that lions are able to stand on their hind legs and pull the trigger of a gun, then maybe we should cease to hunt them and talk peace negotiations. Until then, who cares?
Kill lions and sharks and shit. If you don’t kill them, they’d kill you in a heartbeart. If a lion showed up in your backyard, you’d be dead. Like super dead. Body parts everywhere. Kill lions. Fuck lions. I’ll wear a lion fur coat all winter.
There are shootings in your state like every day. You should 1,000% care more about that than what a dentist does on his vacation.
Before I give this guy a full pass, it’s insane to brag about killing an animal in captivity. When people post Facebook photos of themselves holding up dead rhinos who hang out in enclosed electric fences, those people deserve to be hunted as well. I have no qualms with hunting, but bragging about killing animals is insane. Native Americans killed buffaloes all day every day, and never posted one photo on Instagram. Act like you’ve been there before.
Walter Palmer paid an absurd amount of money to kill Cecil the lion which means he must be a pretty successful dentist. People legitimately need this man. I’m glad he’s back at work overcharging people for fake teeth instead of paying for helicopter rides across the outback so he can snipe out koala bears. Welcome back, Walter Palmer.
Edited by Morgan Mandriota.