big baller brand

Big Baller Brand Shoes Cost $495 and Look Like They Should Cost $4.95

Lonzo Ball looks dead inside. Poor kid. All he’s ever wanted to do was play basketball but now he’s stuck in a strange Westworld situation. He’s not sure if he’s always wanted to be a basketball star or if he was programmed at birth to want to be a basketball star. At this point, Lonzo has no idea if he’s ever been in control of his own decisions.1

If you pay $495 for those wack ass shoes and your last name isn’t ‘Ball’ then you deserve life in prison. We can’t have psychopaths like that on these streets paying $500 for these Starbury’s. At least Stephon Marbury sold his shoes for $13 because he knew that’d turn into dust the second you started walking a little faster.

Big Baller Brand is designed for dudes that are Lavar Ball’s age but he’s trying to sell it to people Lonzo’s age. Big Baller Brand is for old heads who rock a blue tooth speaker and baggy jeans. This is for guys with baby mamas who spend more money on their outfits then their kid’s.

Lavar Vall is creating a generation of weird fuckboys who want to buy expensive Phat Farm ripoffs. Yup, I totally see now why literally every single major shoe brand laughed him out of the room during meetings.

Laugh out loud at Big Baller Brand.




Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you feel bad for Lonzo Ball for having to wear these wack ass Big Baller Brand shoes. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.


  1. no spoilers but Lonzo has to follow what Dolores did in the finale

Written by TheLesterLee


Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture.

E-mail to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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