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Alex Rodriguez is Dead, Gary Sanchez Killed Him

Today is a sad moment, not only for New York Yankees fans but for the game of baseball as Alex Rodriguez announced that he is retiring on August 12th. A-Rod is currently batting .204 with 9 home runs and 29 RBIs. Not ideal. After the All-Star break, he was basically moved to the bench and became the backup designated hitter which isn’t even really a thing.

Well, a few days earlier Alex said that he had at least one more year left in him and then suddenly out of the clouds, he announces he’s retiring on Friday. So what actually happened between those two events?

Gary Sanchez.

On August 3rd, Gary Sanchez was called up to play Catcher/Designated Hitter which meant he and Brian McCann would occupy the DH position thus leaving Alex the odd man out, again. But it’s not just that Sanchez was called up. It’s the Sanchez is the GOAT.

Now I know I exaggerate a lot. I tend to embellish from time to time but believe me when I say that Gary Sanchez is the greatest catcher in the history of baseball and no one can tell me otherwise. He is currently working on a 4 game hitting streak and he’s hit a double in 3 straight games. Sanchez has also thrown out every single runner that’s tried to steal on him.

SEEE YAAAA A-Rod.

Gary Sanchez is the past, present and future. The New York Yankees are going to win 162 games next season. You read it here first. Especially with Alex becoming a ‘special advisor’ aka weird old guy hanging around the clubhouse trying to tweak Gleyber Torres’ swing for no reason and slipping HGH marshmallows into his hot cocoa. 162-0.

Sidenote: How about A-Rod trying to one-up Mark Teixeira by announcing his retirement like 3 days later and making a much bigger deal about it. I already feel bad for the other guys in his Hall-of-Fame class when the entire weekend is about Alex and no one gives a shit that they’re even on stage too.

 

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Written by TheLesterLee

TheLesterLee

Creator and King of Deadseriousness. Writer of all things pop culture.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk to the king directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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